Marrying someone that you love is one of the best things you can do in life and keeping your love strong over the years can be a real challenge, so here’s our wedding advice for the bride.
Marriage advice for a bride – 50 simple recommendations
On average 50% of marriages end up in divorce with exceptions in places such as India (1%), Chile (3%), Iran (22%).
Here’s 50 of the best pieces of advice for the bride to help couples stay happily married forever…
- Always be honest with your spouse, even if you are ashamed – If you hide things from your significant other, you feel guilt, and you can’t be happy with guilt.
- Say thank you, even for the little things – When your husband takes out the trash, say thank you. Don’t keep score on who does what, but make sure he knows that he is appreciated for all the things he does.
- Don’t lose the intimacy – It’s really easy to stop being intimate with your husband, especially if you have kids. With the world going crazy around you, don’t forget to stop and make sure you make each other feel loved.
- Take care of yourself – Drink water, wash your face, don’t just throw on some sweat pants and your hair in a bun.
- Foster relationships outside of your marriage – No, I did not say cheat. Go on girls’ trips, make friends. It is important to not always be with your husband. You both need time without each other.
- Think before you speak – There are many things you just don’t say to your husband. Imagine your significant other saying “Oh, wow, honey… those jeans are getting a little tight”. Don’t comment on things you know will bother him or make him feel insecure.
- Clean up after yourself – The last thing anyone wants to do, is clean up after someone else. You aren’t his child, just do it yourself.
- Practice letting go – You are both going to say things that hurt the other, intentionally and unintentionally. Practice letting the things that don’t really matter go.
- Realize that things will change – Things are not always going to be the same. You will both grow and make choices.
- Learn to compromise – This is hard for most people, but it’s imperative if you want a happy marriage. Nobody agrees on everything.
- Be nice – Even when you have had a bad day, make sure that you aren’t taking it out on your significant other. They are supposed to be your relief, not your punching bag.
- Date your husband – Even when you have been married for 10 years, you still need to get out of the house with your significant other. It’s important that you don’t get stuck in the “day to day”.
- Save money – Financial issues are a huge struggle in most marriages. Save up a little bit each week, so when financial issues do arise, they are taken care of.
- Avoid boredom – Go on random trips at 2am, go get ice cream, decide to start a garden together. Anything. Just don’t sit at home ignoring each other.
- Remember who you married – Do not try to change your husband. You may support him wanting to change, but you will never be able to change him.
- Ignore gender roles – Your husband is capable of making dinner. You are capable of checking the oil in your car.
- Walk before you talk – Sometimes, when you are arguing, it’s better to walk away for a little bit to think before saying things you don’t mean. Of course, don’t just stomp off. Tell your partner that you need a minute to think, and that he should also take a minute to think.
- Work out together – Make goals together. Stay healthy and active together. Sign up for a 5k and practice together.
- Create a list of things not to talk about – when you have a kid free night, make it a priority to NOT talk about the kids, bills, or work. Focus on each other.
- Stop criticizing – Do not publicly correct your spouse’s grammar, driving, or anything else.
- Friendship is important, too – Be his friend.
- Kiss his face – Randomly. With no reason at all.
- Keep sending the good morning texts – It may seem weird because you live together and see each other all the time, but it makes everyone feel good to receive a message when they wake up.
- Put your phone down – Spend time with your partner. Do not have an important conversation while looking at your phone. It shows him that you don’t care, and there’s more interesting things on your phone.
- Watch your tone – Sometimes things come out, that probably shouldn’t have. Try to make sure you aren’t saying things in a condescending way.
- Listen – Don’t just hear. LISTEN. Take in everything he says to you. Know what he likes, and doesn’t like.
- Write it out – If you are fighting with your husband and getting nowhere, suggest that you write about it, and then talk about it. This helps you get your thoughts out without saying something you can’t take back.
- Remind him who he married – Try not to become someone he doesn’t recognize. Change is okay, but remember that he married you and loves you for who you are.
- Apologize verbally – Do not apologize through text. It is not a real apology if you can’t say it to his face, and he knows that.
- Share – Share t-shirts, occasional showers, secrets
- Stay off his phone – Trust is the key to any relationship. If you feel the need to go through his phone constantly, you may need to reevaluate.
- If you need help, get it – Don’t wait too long to get a marriage counselor. Waiting until you are on the brink of divorce is not going to prevent divorce. You need to learn how to communicate effectively.
- Schedule time away – Spend some time apart. Schedule a day where you will go out with your friends, and he can go out with his.
- Random massages – Stress is real, give him random massages.
- Ditch plans together – Both of you had a long day, and now his friend wants to have a barbecue, but you both just want to lay in bed eating cheetos watching Netflix for 6 hours… DO IT.
- Don’t force shared friends – You do not have to share friends. You do not have to go on dates with other couples.
- Take a hike – Go outside with each other, try new things, go on adventures.
- Give choices – Instead of asking what he wants for dinner, give him some choices, and let him decide which one he wants for dinner.
- Make small decisions – He doesn’t actually want to decide what you are having for dinner every night. Occasionally, just make dinner for him without asking what he wants. He also doesn’t care what color curtains go in the guest room.
- Celebrate small victories – Everything small leads to something big eventually, enjoy it! Celebrate!
- Pray together – Couples that go to religious services are 47% less likely to get divorced. Even if you aren’t religious, there are places that have services that aren’t religious based.
- Take a sick day – Take a sick day together. Both of you take the day off work, and go do something you both want to do, but haven’t had time to.
- Limit your social media time – Don’t ignore the person right in front of you for memes of grumpy cats. There is nothing wrong with checking your social media, just don’t let it take up all of your time.
- Compliment him – This is often overlooked because women seem to think men don’t care about physical appearances, but that is not even close to true. Did he cut his hair recently? Tell him you like his hair cut. Even if he doesn’t make a change physically, compliment him.
- You are not always right – It is okay to be wrong. It is also okay to admit that you were wrong and that he was right. In fact, one of his favorite things to hear is probably, “you were right”.
- Keep the house clean – If you stay at home, make sure the house is clean before he gets home. If you both work, make dinner together and clean up the mess together. The housework gets done faster, and there is no argument about who does what or who does more.
- Take a bath – When you both have a stressful day and just want some time to yourself, light a candle, take a bath and RELAX. It is important for both parties to spend time to themselves.
- Do not talk negatively about your husband to your friends – When your husband does something to make you mad (he will), you will both most likely resolve the issue in the near future. When you tell your friends or family, they don’t forget. They instantly form an opinion of the person you are planning to spend the rest of your life with and that opinion doesn’t typically change easily. If there is a problem in your marriage, keep it in your marriage, or speak to a counselor.
- Dance in the kitchen – Even if you can’t dance, turn on some music, and slow dance with him in the kitchen.
- Don’t lose yourself – Continue to do things you enjoy.
What to Write in a Card for the Bride as Wedding Advice
We’ve put together 20 things that you can write as advice to the bride (or the couple) a card.
We recommend you pick a handful of the ones that you like and give her the bullet points, elaborate if you want to but we’ve found that if you highlight the points you can then give her the advice on why you chose to write it for her.
- Choose to love each other, even when you don’t like each other. – There is a 100% chance that in your marriage at some point, neither of you will like each other. Loving someone is a choice that you have to make every single day. If you don’t make that choice, then the love disappears.
- Always answer the phone when your husband calls. – Men typically don’t call anyone unless they have something important to say or they really just want to talk to the person they are calling. If you don’t answer the phone when he calls, he will stop calling, and you lose communication.
- Make time with each other a priority. – There are always going to be a million things to do, just make sure that you are setting time aside to spend with your husband because those are the times you are going to cherish for the rest of your life.
- Keep friends that strengthen your marriage, let go of the ones that don’t. – You should avoid being friends with people that influence you to do things that go against your wedding vows. They are not your friends if they can’t respect you and your husband.
- Laugh a lot! – Embrace the funny things. Laugh with your husband, and even when it’s hard, keep laughing. Laughing is contagious and makes everyone happier.
- Remember that it’s you and him versus the problem, not you versus him. – There is not always going to be a winner in an argument. Remember that you both chose to go through life together, knowing there were going to be arguments. Thinking of arguments in this way is a good way to work together to come up with a solution instead of making the problem bigger.
- Realize that both of you may not always be strong all the time, but it can still be a strong marriage. – Sometimes, you are going to have to hold your husband up when he’s down. Sometimes he is going to have to hold you up when you are down. That is the beauty of marriage, though. You both always have someone by your side to hold you up.
- Marriage is not 50/50, divorce is. – Sometimes you are going to have to do extra when he has a hard day, and vice versa. Sometimes you are going to have to put in 70 percent to his 20, and sometimes he is going to have to do that for you. The best thing to do? Put in all of the effort you can, and stop keeping track!
- Don’t compare your marriage to other marriages. – Other people’s lives may look perfect on social media and in public, but I promise you those marriages aren’t perfect. Nobody has a perfect marriage. Do everything you can to be truly happy in your marriage, and stop comparing it to other marriages.
- Do not put your marriage on hold when you have kids. – Your marriage and happiness is just as important as getting your kids raised to get married and be happy. Your children learn what love is from watching their parents. If you put your marriage on hold to raise your children, you end up with an empty marriage and and empty home, all while your children end up with the same because they don’t learn how to love.
- Do not keep secrets from your husband. – This is your life partner! Always be completely honest with them, and you will never have to worry about a lack of trust.
- When you mess up, admit it and ask for forgiveness. – You will mess up at some point in your marriage. Nobody is perfect. When this happens, admit it to yourself first, forgive yourself. Then admit it to your husband and ask for forgiveness. This may not be given easily, but eventually he will forgive you because he loves you and you were honest with him.
- When he messes up, forgive him. – When he admits to you that he messed up and asks for forgiveness, you should be the first to say “I love you, I forgive you, let’s move forward.” This promotes healing in the marriage and allows you to work through the issues without him feeling like you no longer love him.
- Be patient with each other. – Your husband is more important than the dinner you are about to go to with your sister. When he’s on his game a little too long, or forgets to get ready on time, it’s probably because he is exhausted and had a long day. He is most likely not intentionally trying to make you late.
- If you wouldn’t say it to your son, don’t say it to your husband. – Anything that you would not say to your child, don’t say to your husband. Always be respectful to your spouse. He does not have to be there, he chooses to.
- Do not talk badly about your husband to your family. – You may feel better after venting to your family and forgive him, but your family will not. They are your family before anything to him.
- Do not consider divorce an option. – Always find another way. If you don’t see divorce as an option, it forces you to work out the issues instead of giving up. You should never give up on someone that you chose to spend your life with. They are your family now, just like a child is your family. You don’t just give up on your child when things get hard, so you shouldn’t give up on your husband when things get hard.
- Always wear your wedding ring. – Your ring will become a reminder to you of who you married and why. These are important things to keep in mind.
- Treat your husband like your best friend first. – They were your friend first, and sometimes that will be all you need from them, friendship.
- Don’t listen to respond, listen to understand. – Make sure you are actually hearing what your husband is saying to you, not just thinking about what you are going to say next.
Three of the best love poems ever
How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
Elizabeth Barrett Browning – 1806-1861
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
When You Are Old
BY WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars
Love is a Temporary Madness,
from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being “in love” which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.